Redefining That Heart-Shaped Holiday
By Catherine Weingarten--Valentine’s Day has always been one of my favorite holidays. I freak out over anything involving pink, heart-shaped cupcakes and attractive guys being painfully in love with me.
For years I waited until I could have the most perfect Valentine’s Day with my fictional boyfriend. We would walk through parks, where rainbow confetti would fall down on us and we would eat chocolate covered strawberries and cry at each other cause we were so in love. And I would be so painfully pretty that he couldn’t even look at me. And he would be like, “Catherine, you are so thin, I am so glad we are dating. Wow! You are just so physically attractive.” And then I would blush like I didn’t even know how good looking I was.
Clearly at that point, my own definition of what a relationship should be like was not the healthiest thing ever. Most of the fantasies involved me being good/thin enough for a guy to date. I knew that when I looked like a supermodel goddess hottie, a boy would drop out of the sky and date me. And we would be a couple and post the most annoying Valentine’s Day Facebook pics of us in matching outfits! And all my friends would hate me but secretly they’d be so jealous and wish they could wear matching outfits with a dream hunk of their choice!
Now being out of college and significantly healthier in terms of body image, I am creating my own definition of what’s important to me in a relationship. And the exciting thing about that is for the first time I’m thinking about what I want in a guy! As young women, we are taught about how to make guys like us! But in the end the important thing is really being proud to be yourself, and then the guy will be drawn to that confidence.
But Valentine’s Day can be a triggering holiday for some of us; so it’s important to think of positive ways to deal with it. This V-day I plan to go out to a super expensive dinner with a platonic friend. And I’ll probably dress up in a super fancy dress, because that does it for me. Just because I am not in a relationship doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate love, because love rocks!
What are your plans for Valentines day? Do you find Valentines Day a triggering holiday? Does anyone have suggestions for fun valentine’s day plans for the singlessss? What are qualities about yourself (that have nothing to do with your looks) that you could bring/bring to a relationship?
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